Captain Wentworth's Diary Read online

  ‘Which newspaper have you been reading?’ I asked her, as the ‘Frenchman’ continued to eat his apple, unaware of the alarm he had occasioned.

  ‘The one my sister sends me, and I am glad she takes the trouble, otherwise I might have approached him unawares and been murdered ten minutes since.’

  ‘I think such fears might be precipitate,’ I remarked, leading the way to the far side of the hedge.

  Miss Scott was astonished to see that, so far from being ten feet tall, he was no more than five feet six inches, and standing on a ladder.

  ‘Good morning,’ I called up to him.

  ‘Morning,’ he returned.

  ‘And a fine morning it is.’

  ‘Arrrr,’ he agreed.

  I engaged him in lengthy conversation, and through his thick country burr I was able to discern that he was just finishing his lunch, prior to returning to his task of trimming the hedge. The rest of my party laughed, and gradually dispersed, and at last even Miss Scott’s fears were soothed.

  ‘Thought it is a mistake anyone could have made, I am sure,’ she said, as she walked with Miss Anne and myself back to the picnic spot, ‘for he certainly looked to be ten feet tall, and as everyone knows, the French are giants.’

  ‘Rest assured, they are no taller than the English,’ Miss Anne soothed her.

  ‘Oh, my dear, you mean well, I am sure, but you have never been to France, so how can you possibly know?’

  Miss Anne was dumbfounded by this logic, so I said to Miss Scott, ‘You may rest assured, ma’am, that I have seen many Frenchmen, and I have yet to see one over six feet tall.’

  She demurred; she doubted. But at last, saying, ‘Well, if you say so, Commander, then perhaps it is so,’ she relapsed into murmurs of relief.

  On reaching the picnic spot, we settled down on our rugs once more.

  Miss Elliot took no interest in the riddle game which resumed, professing herself bored. She, together with her father and Lady Russell, had not joined the trail of those eager to see the ‘French’, but had remained aloof. She yawned, and stood up, saying it was time to go home.

  It was not difficult to see why she was dissatisfied, for there had been no sight of Mr Elliot, nor anyone unconnected with our party.

  The day drew to a close. Disturbed by Miss Scott’s alarms and Miss Elliot’s remarks, the game lost its sparkle, and the Pooles and Shepherds began to speak of departure, too.

  At last everything was gathered together, and nothing remained to show what an enjoyable day we had spent there, save a patch of shorter grass where the horses had grazed.

  I handed Miss Anne into the carriage. Ignoring my brother’s looks and the looks of Lady Russell, I rode beside her, entertaining her and being entertained by her in equal measure along the way.

  We parted at last, when her carriage turned into Kellynch Hall, and I was left to reflect on one of the most enjoyable days I had experienced for a long time.

  Saturday 9 August

  ‘I see you ignored my advice yesterday, and singled out Miss Anne,’ my brother said, when he had completed his parish duties. ‘It is a good thing you are going to Harville’s wedding next week, for at least that should keep you out of harm’s way.’

  I was annoyed by his interference, but I reminded myself that he had my best interests at heart, for I was conscious of having been the subject of one or two pairs of curious eyes, as well as those of Lady Russell, as I rode beside Miss Anne on the way home.

  And now, as I sit here at my desk, looking out of the window over the fields surrounding my brother’s house, I feel myself torn as I have never been in my life. A part of me wants to spend all my time with Miss Anne, and yet another part of me feels I should be more circumspect, for she will have to face her neighbours when I am safely back at sea.

  And yet, although I am aware of a longing to feel the spray on my face, I am conscious of a growing reluctance to leave the neighbourhood, for Miss Anne is becoming increasingly important to me.

  I never expected to find such a woman when I first came to Monkford, for who would expect such a jewel to be tucked away in the country? Or that I would be the man who could make her shine?

  Monday 18 August

  I accompanied my brother into Uppercross this morning, and as we walked past the Great House I saw Miss Anne, Lady Russell and Mr Charles Musgrove coming towards us.

  There was something about Mr Musgrove’s closeness to Miss Anne that I did not like, and I said to Edward, ‘Here are three of our neighbours. I believe the Elliots and the Musgroves are family friends?’

  ‘They have certainly been long acquainted,’ my brother agreed.

  There was a hint of ambiguity in his reply that I did not like, but I thought it better not to refine too much upon the matter. If I pursued it, I felt Edward would look at me askance. But I could not help noticing that Lady Russell did not look at Musgrove with the same jaundiced eye she turned on me.

  I said as much to Edward.

  ‘She likes him well enough in a general way, but if you are meaning that she approves of him as a suitor for Miss Anne, I think you are mistaken. Lady Russell is not eaten up with pride, like Sir Walter, but she knows the value of rank, and I believe she looks higher for her god-daughter. I do not believe she will encourage the match.’

  ‘He is not a bad sort, I dare say,’ I remarked, generous once I knew he was not a suitor. ‘He is well enough looking, and the property of Uppercross is not negligible. He will probably suit Miss Welling.’

  ‘You seem very anxious to find him a wife,’ said Edward, amused.

  ‘It is with Harville marrying. It has set my thoughts running on matrimony,’ I returned.

  Her party drew close and we exchanged greetings. My brother and I fell in with them, for we were all going to the high street, and we walked on together. I could see that Lady Russell was not pleased to have met with us, and she endeavoured to engage my attention, leaving Miss Anne to Charles Musgrove. But I was not to be deprived of Miss Anne’s company. I asked her for her opinion on three occasions, and paid attention to her answers, and before anyone could stop us, we were deep in conversation, from which we did not emerge until our paths diverged.

  Edward said nothing to me as we went on our way, but he looked at me, and I knew what was in his mind. Again, I had singled out Miss Anne, and again given her my wholehearted attention.

  ‘How long will you be away for Harville’s wedding?’ he asked me.

  ‘I go tomorrow, and will be back on Wednesday night.’

  He seemed satisfied, for he knew as well as I did that it meant I could not talk to Miss Anne before Thursday.

  Tuesday 19 August

  I set out early, at a leisurely pace, blessing my horse, who made light work of the hills along the way. I arrived to find Harville in a nervous state, for though he welcomed me warmly, his conversation was punctuated by bouts of high spirits and equally frequent bouts of reflection.

  ‘You are not regretting it?’ I asked him.

  He looked surprised, and I was reassured, for he could not cry off, even if he wanted to.

  ‘Not at all,’ he said. ‘I am looking forward to it. Only, I am conscious of the fact that, after tomorrow, my life will never be the same again. It has made me unsettled. I cannot see the future—but I dare say it will become routine soon enough. I am surprised you do not follow my example and marry, Wentworth. A bachelor’s life is a dry existence. You should find a good woman, someone you can love and esteem, someone to think about when you are away at sea, and someone to come home to when you are on shore leave.’

  ‘Not I!’ I replied, though not as heartily as I would have done a month go. ‘I am far too young for such a step, and I have too much of the world still to see. And as for shore leave, I can stay with my brother when I am home.’

  ‘Not as comfortable as staying with a wife,’ he said.

  ‘That is true, but a brother is not as hard to leave behind.’

  His family were gat
hered about him, looking forward to the celebration. Benwick and Jenson were there, too, and I thought how quickly the time had gone since we had all met at the naval academy.

  ‘It is about time you made an honest woman of Harriet,’ said Harville’s brother, laughing at him. ‘You have been sighing over her for long enough!’

  ‘It is a grave responsibility,’ said his cousin, shaking his head.

  ‘You speak as though Harville was going to be burdened with command of the Navy, instead of being given the duties of a husband to one pretty woman,’ said Benwick.

  ‘At least I have my friends to defend me!’ said Harville.

  But his peace was short lived. The rest of his family joined in and he was subjected to as many opinions on marriage as there were men in the room.

  At last he cried, ‘Enough!’ and begged us all to talk of something else.

  But as I retired for the night, I could not put his words from my mind. Follow my example and marry, Wentworth.

  At last, feeling restless and knowing I would be unable to sleep, I slipped out of the house. It was a beautiful night, with a balmy breeze, and I made my way by moonlight along the road. As I did so, I thought of how I had felt, a few months ago, when Harville had told me he intended to marry. I had been incredulous, thinking him a fool, for the world was full of pretty young women, and why should he want to swap the smiles of so many for the smiles of one?

  But as I stood at the crossroads, I understood.

  Wednesday 20 August

  Harville was up very early, and full of nerves. He found it impossible to tie his neck-cloth and I had to do it for him. Then he could not get into his coat, and Benwick and I had to assist him. He could not settle to anything, and although we tried to talk to him about his next ship, and his certainty of capturing more prizes as soon as he went back to sea, he did not listen to more than one word in ten.

  It was far too early to go to the church, but he insisted we set out, with the result that we waited fifteen minutes at the altar. I thought he would wear his hands away with all the clasping and unclasping he did!

  At last Harriet arrived, looking radiant in a satin gown. The service began, and as I watched Harville make his vows, I found that I no longer pitied him. I envied him.

  As we emerged from the church, Harriet’s mother was crying, and Harville’s mother and sister were crying, but Harriet was beaming with joy.

  We went back to Harriet’s house for the wedding-breakfast. After we had all eaten and drunk our fill, toasted the happy couple and made our speeches, the Harvilles set out on their wedding-tour.

  Jenson, Benwick and I lingered on, enjoying the hospitality of Harville’s family. Benwick seemed very taken with Fanny, whilst Jenson talked to Harville’s parents and I spent the afternoon talking to Harville’s brother. We relived our battles and looked forward to the battles to come, hoping we might, at some time in the future, find ourselves on the same ship.

  And then, at last, it was time for me to leave. I bade them all farewell, and thanked them for their kindness. They sent me off with their good wishes ringing in my ears, and I rode home at a steady pace. The weather remained fine, and I was treated to a magnificent sunset on the way. I reined in my horse and watched the spectacle, seeing the sky turn crimson before the sun sank below the horizon. Then I set off again, arriving shortly after dark. Edward was reading the newspaper, but as I entered the room he laid it aside and asked me how I had got on. I told him all my news and he asked me a number of questions about the service. I satisfied him as best I could, and he allowed it to have been well done.

  Then he told me his own news, which was not so happy, for the curacy of Leigh Ings had been given elsewhere.

  ‘Never mind, there is still the living of Trewithing,’ I reminded him.

  ‘There is, and it would suit me better to have a living, rather than another curacy. I must hope for better luck there.’

  ‘Do you think it will fall to you?’ I asked.

  ‘Nothing is certain,’ he said, ‘but as I have friends in the neighbourhood, and as I do not think there is any particular interest in the living, I think it possible.’

  ‘It would be a very good thing if it did.’

  ‘Undoubtedly. I would have my own parish, a larger house, an increased stipend, and I would be better placed to hear of any other livings that might fall vacant.’

  ‘The church is not an easy profession for a man with no one to speak for him, unlike the Navy, where a man may prove his worth,’ I remarked.

  ‘But it is still not impossible to rise in the world,’ he said.

  ‘With Sophia well married, and I a commander, I would like to see you become a bishop,’ I said.

  He only laughed, and said he did not have my ambition. Nevertheless, he expressed his intention of walking into town tomorrow in an effort to learn more.

  We said our goodnights.

  As I mounted the stairs, my thoughts returned to Harville, now married, and realized that a part of my life had changed. He and I had been as brothers, but now he had moved on to a new life, and I felt a restlessness inside me, a longing to move on to a new life of my own.

  Thursday 21 August

  Edward walked into town this afternoon to learn all he could about the living at Trewithing. Whilst he was out, a note was delivered from Kellynch Hall, and I had to contain my impatience until he returned, for it was addressed to him.

  ‘Upon my soul!’ he exclaimed as he opened it. ‘We are invited to dine with Sir Walter Elliot at Kellynch Hall.’

  ‘There must be some mistake,’ I said.

  ‘See for yourself.’

  He threw the note to me. Sure enough, it was an invitation.

  ‘I thought Sir Walter did not like me,’ I said in surprise.

  ‘My dear brother, not every invitation that arrives is a compliment to you. It is possible that he wishes to see me. If he has heard of my hopes—but no, he would be no more interested in the rector of a small parish than he is in the curate of an even smaller one. He is simply being neighbourly, that is all.’

  ‘Either that, or he needs to make up his numbers.’

  ‘You are not a very trusting man, Frederick.’

  ‘I have found it better to err on the side of caution when going into battle,’ I replied.

  ‘Sir Walter is surely no match for a man of your abilities,’ he mocked me.

  No, I thought, but Lady Russell is.

  I could not help wondering if she was behind the invitation. Did she want to see me, so that she might have an opportunity of getting to know me, and of observing my behaviour towards Miss Anne at close quarters? Did she, perhaps, think that a commander might not be a bad husband for her favourite, after all? Or did she want an opportunity to warn me away?

  Friday 29 August

  ‘You seem to have dressed with unusual care,’ remarked Edward as I joined him in his sitting-room, prior to our setting out for Kellynch Hall.

  ‘Not at all. I am always carefully of my appearance,’ I said, adding, ‘as long as it does not involve wearing veils.’

  The weather being fine, we decided to walk to Kellynch Hall. When we arrived, I had my first full sight of it, for although I had glimpsed it when walking by the river, I had never seen it from the front. As we walked up the drive, I thought it a very fine house, and said so to my brother.