Wickham's Diary Page 7

  ‘I intend to be found searching for her, saying that I am beside myself with worry for she went to her room as usual the night before but when her maid went to draw back the curtains in the morning she had gone. I intend to hand him a note saying that she had eloped with the man of her dreams and then I intend to say that I have guarded her carefully and that she has not spoken to any young men, except his friend Mr Wickham.’

  I laughed.

  ‘I wish I could be there to see his face when he hears my name.’

  ‘If you are there to see his face he will see yours and then you are ruined,’ she said. ‘You must be well away before that happens, safely in Scotland, indeed safely married. Where will you go after your tour? You cannot stay in the highlands forever.’

  ‘To London, perhaps, or to the country, to buy a home of our own. A large house in ample grounds, a gentleman’s residence, with a river running through it. We can entertain there. We can invite Darcy to dinner!’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind a little home in the country myself,’ said Belle. ‘Nothing so grand as what you have in mind, but a comfortable little place with a maid to wait on me. I might buy something in your neighbourhood.’

  ‘Do, Belle, and we can carry on our friendship at close quarters. We will celebrate our luck together!’ I envisioned a happy future, with Belle to entertain me and Georgiana to be my beautiful, and very wealthy, wife. ‘But for now you had better go back or she will be missing you. I will see you at six o’clock.’

  She hurried off and I returned to my lodgings, where a willing little chambermaid awaited me. I passed the afternoon pleasantly enough and then dressed with care, presenting myself punctually at Georgiana’s house. It was a respectable dwelling, nothing too large, but ideally suited to being a young lady’s summer residence. I was shown in, and there was Georgiana looking very beautiful, her Darcy profile classically handsome, her figure graceful and elegant. Her dress was very costly and her shoes, dyed to match, were as expensive as her dress. She rose to meet me and I caught the scent of lavender and roses.

  Belle stood respectfully behind her, looking demure and respectable.

  Georgiana was suddenly overcome with shyness, for she was not used to the role of hostess, and so Belle prompted her, saying, ‘Miss Darcy.’

  Georgiana looked flustered but she welcomed me all the same, saying, ‘Mr Wickham, welcome,’ with all the consciousness of a young lady welcoming a guest for the first time on her own.

  ‘Thank you, Georgie—but I must not call you that, you are a young lady now and not a child. I must call you Miss Darcy,’ I said with a charming smile.

  She blushed but she looked pleased, and Belle cast me an approving glance.

  ‘Won’t you ask Mr Wickham to sit down?’ said Belle.

  ‘Oh, yes, please George, do sit down,’ said Georgiana.

  Belle and I exchanged glances, for neither of us had missed Georgiana’s use of my name, and then I turned back to Georgiana.

  She sat down and I followed suit, placing myself in a chair opposite her.

  ‘What a coincidence, your names being so similar, George and Georgiana, just like they are a pair,’ said Belle, filling the silence, for Georgiana was shy.

  ‘When I was younger, my mother called me Georgie, and Georgiana was also called by that name,’ I said, looking at Belle and then turning and smiling in a friendly fashion at Georgiana, who smiled in return.

  ‘I think you said your mother lived in Ramsgate, Mr Wickham?’ asked Belle, knowing I had said no such thing but wanting to give me an opportunity to speak.

  ‘No, alas, my mother is dead,’ I said.

  And I felt real regret as I said it.

  ‘As mine is,’ said Georgiana.

  We exchanged sympathetic glances.

  ‘I can see you have much in common,’ said Belle.

  ‘Indeed,’ I said. ‘We both lost our fathers some years ago, my father following Miss Darcy’s father to the grave within a matter of months. He was Mr Darcy’s steward.’

  ‘A fine occupation, and a very necessary one,’ said Belle. ‘Suitable for a gentleman, and yet at the same time of great use. So many gentlemen these days seem to fritter their time away on nothing. Miss Darcy and I were talking about it only the other day. Do you have a profession, Mr Wickham?’

  ‘Yes, I intend to go into the law.’

  ‘A noble calling,’ said Belle approvingly. ‘Do you not have family members in the law, Miss Darcy?’ asked Belle. ‘Was not your uncle a judge?’ Georgiana said that yes, that was so, and Belle remarked comfortably that interests in common were so important to friendship and she was sure she was delighted that Miss Darcy had found such a suitable companion in Ramsgate. ‘For the people hereabouts are not all of the right kind. You must ask Mr Wickham if he would care to join us for a picnic on the downs tomorrow,’ said Belle to Georgiana. ‘I would have suggested it last week, but without a gentleman to lend me his arm I could not have managed the hill and even you, my dear, I am persuaded would have found it difficult. But with a gentleman those kinds of things are so much easier.’

  Georgiana invited me on the picnic and I accepted, saying I would be delighted to offer the ladies any assistance they might require.

  It was time for dinner, and as we ate, we planned several excursions for the coming weeks. Georgiana became animated as we discussed picnics and boating parties, and by the time dinner was over she had lost her shyness around me and was treating me as she had done in the days, long gone, when we were all children together. Cries of, ‘Do you remember, George, when…?’ or ‘Did we not have fun on the day…?’ led to shared memories, and Belle smiled at us both benignly as we talked over old times.

  ‘And how is your playing coming along?’ I asked Georgiana as we moved into the drawing-room after dinner. ‘You always had a musical touch, though you were not always inclined to practise,’ I teased her.

  ‘Miss Darcy is a proficient,’ said Belle. ‘She excels at music; everybody says so. Her masters are very pleased with her. So are we all. Play something for Mr Wickham, my dear. That pretty tune you were practising this morning, perhaps.’

  Georgiana sat down at the instrument and played a lively sonata. She really played well, and as I sat and watched her, I thought, I will make her happy. She will want for nothing as my wife. She will have clothes, jewels, a pianoforte, a horse, and a fine house to live in. And when Fitzwilliam sees how happy she is with me he will forgive me everything, particularly when the children come along, for then he will have nephews and nieces to strengthen the attachment between us. We will visit Pemberley at Christmas and Rosings at Easter and before very long, perhaps he will decide to do something for us and Georgiana and I will have an estate of our own.

  As I thought of Darcy I remembered him as a lonely figure, surrounded by friends and yet somehow out of their reach. I remembered him saying that he was looking for something. I wondered if he had found it. I had certainly found what I was looking for, a rich, beautiful, and well-connected wife. So at ease did I feel, so at peace with the world, that I hoped he had found what he was looking for, too.

  Georgiana finished her sonata and I congratulated her warmly. She smiled at my praise and Belle and I exchanged glances again. It would be easy to win her affections and make her agree to an elopement.

  I have a few weeks in which to woo her and then it will be off to Gretna Green and a wedding over the anvil.

  16th July 1799

  The weather could not have been more perfect for our picnic. I hired a carriage for the first part of the journey, but when we reached the downs I helped the ladies out. Then, giving them each an arm, I escorted them to a beauty spot with the coach driver carrying the basket. I thanked him for his trouble, paid him handsomely, and then set about helping the ladies to all the choice delicacies contained in the hamper.

  Afterwards, Belle declared herself too tired to walk any further but said that we must not let that stop us, for she would enjoy watching us as much a
s she would have enjoyed walking with us.

  I gave Georgiana my arm and we set off.

  Luck was on my side. We had not been walking for more than five minutes when a sudden gust of wind blew her bonnet off and sent it tumbling down the hill. We both ran after it, just like children again, and did not see our danger until it was almost too late, for the downs fell away suddenly and Georgiana nearly ran over the edge. I caught her hand and pulled her back, dragging her into my arms. Our faces were inches apart and I felt her body melt into mine and I knew that she was attracted to me. I let her go, and I saw the reluctance in her eyes as she was forced to step away from me.

  ‘I am glad I found you again, Georgie,’ I said.

  ‘As am I,’ she whispered, overcome with confusion.

  ‘I am afraid your bonnet is lost,’ I said, as I watched the wind carry it out to sea. ‘But never fear, I will buy you another one.’

  ‘Oh, there is no need, I know you cannot afford it!’ she said.

  I smiled.

  ‘What, do you think I am a pauper?’

  ‘Fitzwilliam says that your pockets are always to let,’ she told me.

  ‘When I was a student then yes, I admit, I spent unwisely, but I am older and wiser now. Young men are apt to be foolish, but maturity cures the problem you know.’

  I gave her my arm and she hesitated.

  ‘Come now, we are old friends, are we not?’ I said.

  She smiled shyly and took my arm. I covered her hand with my own and she looked up at me, her eyes drawn to mine. I looked steadily into her eyes and then, when her eyelids began to droop and her head inclined towards me of its own will, I said, ‘We must go back.’

  She blushed and said, ‘Of course,’ and we walked back to Belle.

  Belle had seen everything and cast a triumphant glance at me.

  We had had the best of the weather. Clouds started to cover the sky and the breeze became colder. We gathered our things together and we went back to the carriage, just as it began to rain, and we were soon on our way back down to the town. I took my leave of the ladies and went to the milliners, where I bought the most beautiful bonnet in the window. And then I went to an out-of-the-way inn and entertained myself with a willing wench until the early hours.

  17th July 1799

  I called on Georgiana this morning, taking the bonnet with me.

  ‘I promised you a new one, you see, and I do not forget my promises,’ I said.

  She looked doubtful and said that she could not accept it, but Belle said, ‘If Mr Wickham was a stranger you would be right to refuse, for a lady should never accept a gift from a gentleman. But as he is such a friend of the family there is no harm in it, my dear, particularly as it is not a gift at all, really; it is only to replace the bonnet you lost.’

  Thus encouraged, Georgiana tried on the bonnet and smiled as she saw how becoming it was.

  ‘You have grown into a beauty,’ I told her, turning the full force of my charm on her. ‘The man who wins you will be lucky indeed.’

  She blushed and turned away, but I saw her face in the mirror and she was looking happy and excited.

  The boating outing this afternoon brought us even closer, for as she climbed into the sailing boat, she wobbled, and I had to catch hold of her and assist her bodily into the boat. I sat close to her throughout the voyage and twice she clutched at my arm when a large wave rocked the boat, and then again, when we disembarked, I had to render her my assistance.

  Offering her my arm on the way back to her house, I felt her lean on me much more heavily than she had done previously, and press closer to me, and I thought that the time was soon approaching when I would be able to propose.

  Belle invited me in but I declined her invitation, knowing that absence would make Georgiana’s heart grow fonder. And it did, for her eyes followed me regretfully as I left the house.

  In only a few more days, or a week, perhaps, I will ask her to marry me. There is no sense in delaying. As soon as I am certain of success I will proceed. The sooner we are in Scotland the better.

  27th July 1799

  I met Belle this morning, walking by the sea, whilst Georgiana was busy indoors with her watercolours. Belle’s ‘headaches’ are proving to be very useful as they give us a chance to talk. We met far away from the main promenade, where we would not be observed.

  ‘How does Georgiana seem this morning? Does she speak of me?’

  ‘All the time. She is head over heels in love with you, and I am not surprised. That new coat looks very well on you. It would turn the head of a more experienced girl than Georgiana.’

  ‘Is she ready yet for me to propose do you think?’ I asked her.

  ‘Yes, she is, I am sure of it. I encouraged her to take a number of romances out of the library when we first arrived here and yesterday, as she sat and read, I told her that her novel reminded me of my own happy life. I told her that I had met the most wonderful man in the world, kind, handsome, and a good friend, and that we had eloped together. She was shocked at first, but as I spoke about it she began to see how romantic it had been and in the end she was convinced that an elopement was the best way to marry, just a woman and her beloved plighting their troth together. After much sighing and smiling, I ended by wishing her the same happiness I had found.’

  ‘That all sounds very promising. I will come round to dinner tonight and then I will propose tomorrow,’ I said.

  ‘Call on us at ten in the morning,’ she said. ‘I will take care to be out of the room when you arrive, and you can have five minutes alone. Is that long enough?’

  ‘Yes. Five minutes is all I will need.’

  28th July 1799

  I dressed with great care this morning and I wore the cologne I know Georgiana likes. I called at the house at exactly ten o’clock, and, as Belle had promised, Georgiana was by herself. I was shown into the drawing-room and she started up, took a step towards me, then stopped and coloured, and said that Mrs Younge was upstairs.

  ‘But she has only gone to fetch her workbasket. She will be down directly,’ she said.

  ‘I cannot say that I am sorry to have found you alone,’ I said, going over to her and taking her hand, then kissing it impulsively before looking deeply into her eyes. ‘Georgiana, you must know, you must have felt how much I like you. In our childhoods we were always friends, but, now that we are grown, my feelings for you have deepened, and I find that friendship is no longer enough for me. I love you, Georgiana, with all my heart and soul. I have no right to ask it, no right to expect it, but’—I sank to my knees in a very pretty gesture of submission—‘will you do me the very great honour of becoming my wife?’

  She blushed and smiled and said, ‘It is you who do me too much honour, George.’

  ‘Does that mean that you accept?’ I asked, standing up and touching her cheek.

  ‘Yes, it does. As long as Fitzwilliam gives his consent to the marriage, I will be your wife.’

  ‘Then you have made me the happiest of men,’ I said, kissing her hand again.

  Belle, who had been listening at the door, then entered the room and said, ‘Oh, Mr Wickham, how good of you to call.’

  ‘I had something very particular I wanted to say to Miss Darcy,’ I said.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Mr Wickham has asked me to be his wife,’ said Georgiana.

  Belle clapped her hands together in delight.

  ‘Oh, this is wonderful news,’ she said. ‘The best news possible. I cannot say I am surprised. You two were made to be with each other. I knew it from the first moment I saw you together. Just like my good, dear Stephen and me. Oh, the happy times we had together, from the moment we met, to all the magic of our wedding in Scotland, to all the happy years we had together until he died. I only hope you two young people can have the same.’

  ‘Why should we not?’ I asked, as though suddenly struck by the idea. ‘Why should we not go to Scotland?’ I turned to Georgiana. ‘What do you say to the idea, my love? Just
you and me, pledging our love for each other, with none of the pomp and circumstance of more trivial marriages, marriages contracted for the sake of family connections or for the sake of convenience. Then there needs to be a show, for there is nothing else to unite the two people. But for us, who love each other dearly, there is no need for it. We need nothing but each other.’

  Georgiana was carried away by the idea of it and we made our arrangements then and there, with Belle adding her comments every now and again to help the matter along.

  ‘I left the house with only a bandbox,’ said Belle. She was so convincing with her reminisces that even I almost believed her stories. ‘My dear Stephen was waiting for me with a carriage at the end of the road.’

  ‘Were your family not worried?’ asked Georgiana, as she began to think of the matter more carefully.

  ‘Bless you, no,’ said Belle. ‘I did not just run off, you know; I left a letter explaining everything. I would not have worried them for the world! My papa said afterwards that it was the most romantic letter he had ever read. He said that that was when he knew I was really in love, when he knew I would do without all the fripperies that went with a wedding, just to be with the man I loved.’

  Georgiana looked at me and I smiled.

  ‘If you want a large society wedding then we will have one. I would not deny you any pleasure for the world. But if you would like something more romantic then we will go to Scotland. The scenery there is very beautiful and the people are warm and friendly. Well, my love, what shall it be? Shall we elope?’ She smiled and I took that as her answer. ‘Very well, then, I will arrange the carriage for tomorrow, and then on to Scotland,’ I said.

  ‘Oh, yes, George.’ Then she faltered. ‘What about when we return? What will we do then?’